David A. Morin – How To Talk To People & Make Friends With Them and Invisible to Interesting
I asked my socially savvy friend: “How come you can make friends so easily when it takes me forever?”
My friend responded: “But David, you don’t talk to people.”
I said: “But if I talk to people I just get stuck in small talk—and I hate small talk”.
In the following weeks, my friend took me under his wings. He taught me how to connect with people. It worked. I was hooked. I wanted to learn everything.
You know how socially savvy people make friends—and it just “happens”—without even a sprinkle of effort? That’s what my friend inspired me to do, and I set out to become really good at.
My friend helped me realize something:
The only way to make friends with someone is to talk to them
But if you’re like me, your conversations didn’t lead to more than empty small talk or awkwardness rushing through your body.
Perhaps you asked people questions, and they only gave short answers, or even worse, started going on forever about themselves. Maybe you tried talking about you, and they zoned out or maybe even started judging you.
Occasionally, you felt like you had an interesting conversation – but then they never got back to you.
My stomach turns into a knot just thinking back to it.
My self-blame and self-hatred for being so terrible at forming connections made me want to scream into my pillow at night.
It’s time to move past advice that doesn’t work and learn to talk to people in a way that connects on a deep level. It’s time to learn how to talk to people and make friends with them.
My name is David A. Morin, and I’m the founder of SocialSelf. I used to feel like I bored people.
I didn’t know what to say (and was often ignored in group conversations). I got stuck in empty small talk instead of making deep connections with people I liked.
On top of all that, I worried about what others thought of me.
I felt like an outsider. Spending nights and weekends alone in an empty apartment, I felt like there was something wrong with me that could never be fixed.
Fast forward to today, and I’ve been studying social skills full-time for over a decade. The interest in what I’ve learned has been huge.
SocialSelf has now been featured in publications like Time Magazine, WebMD, MSN, Yahoo, Business Insider, and Healthline. Today, we employ a team of five counselors and therapists to make sure that all our content is scientifically accurate and actually works.
I’m fortunate enough to share my experience with SocialSelf’s 15 000 daily readers.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Chapter 1: How to Talk to People Without Being Weird
- How to start a conversation (without being weird)
- What to say to get past the small talk (and start bonding)
- How to get a conversation going with someone (Without it feeling forced)
- How to make your conversations lead somewhere
- How to make conversation with someone you’ve talked to before
Chapter 2: Common Conversation Challenges
- How to always know how much to talk and how much to listen
- How to not suddenly be “weirdly talkative”
- How to be noticed in groups (and be part of the conversation)
- How to know if someone wants to keep talking with you
- How to avoid signaling romantic interest by mistake
Chapter 3: Getting Past Small Talk and Bonding
- How to go from small talk to personal conversation
- What to do if your conversations feel “forced”
- Four powerful get-to-know questions everyone should know
- How to find things in common with people
- Practical examples of how to make conversations with people and know what to say
Chapter 4: Conversation Anxiety and Awkwardness
- What to do if you mess up, say the wrong thing, or are awkward
- How to deal with awkward silence for good
- How to speak in an interesting and engaging manner
- What to do if you don’t know what someone talks about and feel dumb
- How to not blank out and always know what to say
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