NICABM – How to work with clients who blame

How to Work with Blame: Expert Strategies to Shift Your Client Out of Anger, Pain, Resentment and Blame

Blame is a powerful emotion.

Problem is, blame’s power can also be addictive. When a client blames others, they often feel more certain in their belief or they feel more protected from painful emotions like shame.

But this protection comes with unintended consequences, because blame can push people out of the client’s life and poison so many of their intimate relationships.

So how do we help clients who struggle with blame?

We asked 22 world-renowned experts how they work with clients who blame. These are their top strategies.

How to work with clients who blame

Module 1: The Neurobiology of Blame

The Neurobiology of Blame

Dan Siegel, MD Shelly Harrell, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
Rick Hanson, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD

Why we’re hardwired for fault-finding
Two types of self-awareness that can foster blame
The link between rumination and blame

How to Work with Blame When a Client Has a History of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk, MD Rick Hanson, PhD

How trauma can alter the brain to be more oriented toward blame
How to work with highly-sensitive blame triggers in clients who’ve experienced trauma

Module 2: How to Work with Clients Who Externalize Their Blame

The Missing Skill That Can Keep a Client Frozen in Blame

Marsha Linehan, PhD Michael Yapko, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD

Two polar opposite ways a client often assesses blame (and why both lead to pain)
Two rigid beliefs that can make a client highly prone to blaming others

How to Help Clients Move from Blame into Self-acceptance and Kindness

Ron Siegel, PsyD Chris Germer, PhD

The hidden issue often lying just beneath the client’s pain (and may be the key to successful treatment)
How to help clients break a pain-blame loop

How the Loss of Mentalizing Fuels Blame

Peter Fonagy, PhD

Why your client’s blame may be linked to a deficiency in their ability to mentalize
The unique phenomenon that can heighten the intensity of a client feeling wronged

Module 3: How to Work with Blame That’s Protecting a Client From Shame

How to Work with Clients Who Fear Self-Blame

Richard Schwartz, PhD Christine Padesky, PhD

How to work with blame in narcissistic clients
How to help clients whose externalized blame is protecting them from internalized blame
Why certain blamers will only seek treatment when they’re depressed

How to Reverse Black-and-White Thinking That Drives a Client’s Blame

Lynn Lyons, LICSW Kelly McGonigal, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD

How to adjust your language to avoid triggering a client’s blame defense
The deep fear that keeps some clients from admitting fault in an issue

Module 4: Practical Strategies to Help Clients Break Blaming Patterns

How to Disrupt Blame in Rigid Thinkers

Terry Real MSW, LICSW Ron Siegel, PsyD

How to approach unfulfilled needs so clients don’t fall prey to blame
How to work with clients whose blame is powered by issues of grandiosity

Helping Clients Avoid Blame Traps

Kelly McGonigal, PhD Zindel Segal, PhD

Specific questions that can help clients see the true costs of their blame
Why the benefits of blaming others can be so addicting for some clients

Four Practical Skills to Spark Change in Others

Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT Joan Borysenko, PhD

One strategy that can radically shift a client’s use of fault-finding
One change to a blame pattern that can be a turning point for clients with addiction disorders

Module 5: Blame and Relationships

How to Work with Blame That Poisons Intimate Relationships

Stan Tatkin, PsyD MFT Ron Siegel, PsyD Richard Schwartz, PhD

The core deficit that could be fueling a couple’s blame dynamic
The common blame formula that can foster victimhood (and how to undo it)
How childhood vulnerabilities play a key role in a couples’ blame cycle

A Bottom-Up Approach to Restore a Relationship Shattered by Blame

Pat Ogden, PhD

How to read the subtle pain signals that may be hiding behind a client’s blame
How to disrupt a blaming pattern that’s keeping a relationship in pain

Module 6: How to Help Clients Shift from a Blaming Mindset to a Growth Mindset

Avoiding Common Missteps When Working with Blame

Shelly Harrell, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD

Why timing can affect a successful blame intervention
Why disappointment may be the sleeper emotion that drives so much blame (and how to resolve it)

How to Prevent Resentment and Guide Clients to Growth

Michael Yapko, PhD

Why some families can be particularly susceptible to a blaming relationship
How to help clients connect blame to the way they approach expectations

Here’s What You’ll Get:

Everything is yours to keep forever in your professional library

	Downloadable videos so you can watch at your convenience, on any device
	Audio recordings you can download and listen to at home, in the car, at the gym or wherever you like
	Professionally-formatted transcripts of the sessions, to make review and action simple
	Three downloadable bonus videos to help you work more effectively with blame

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How to work with clients who blame – NICABM